Talking To Strangers - Why Should I?

Lately people who know me and know that I like to share my faith on the streets, have been expressing to me how they can't understand how I can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and share the gospel. I often hear, "I could never do that." or "I don't know how you do it. Isn't it hard? It seems impossible for me."  I find it ironic that in some of these conversations that in their next breath say, "Nothing is impossible with God." I tend to agree, nothing is impossible with God.

Listen, I didn't just wake up one day and just start talking with strangers. With anything, if you want to get better at something, or master a skill, it takes a great deal of patience, time, and practice. You have to ask yourself, "How bad do I want it?" If you have any reservations about the idea, you won't put in the effort, and it will fizzle out. By nature I am extremely introverted. But introverted doesn't mean shy or isolated. It means that I take my conversations with people very seriously. It means that I l lose energy with the more people that surround me, and I gain energy being alone. But one thing is for sure, it does not excuse me from talking to people I don't know. You need to be honest with yourself. Every person you are friends with today, was a stranger at one time. 

Why Should I Care About Talking To Strangers? 

Ask yourself why you want to talk to strangers. For me, I wanted to be able to share the gospel with them. There are way more people I don't know than those that I do know. Since I wanted to share my faith with the largest chunk of the pie graph of the people in my life, I needed to start talking with them, and not just to them. There are several reasons to start conversations with strangers. 

It's Practice For The People Who Really Matter To Us.

All people matter. I view every conversation I have with a complete stranger as an opportunity to practice and enhance my speaking skills for the people who matter the most to me. These are the people who are closest to me in my sphere of influence, who I will see on a daily or weekly basis. No one who plays football goes on the field on the first day and plays a team for a real game that will count towards their record. It takes a great deal of learning, training, and practice before challenging a team. Those conversations are game day, with uniforms and pads on. In order to have those conversations, I need to first practice. But you don't practice with the people you are going to play against. When you play the big game, you want to give your very best. Talking to strangers allows us to make mistakes and say the wrong thing without being judged for it. Most strangers actually worry more about themselves looking like fools, than you looking like a fool. Most of the time you will brighten the day the person you talk with. 

Strangers Can Give You a New Outlook On Life and Issues. 

I think it is very important and healthy to look at something from a different perspective. On issues regarding homosexuality, abortion, or even women in leadership, my views are founded on the bible, and will not change. But in order to talk about these topics, I need to at least try to understand the opinions of the other side. We likely may not agree, but understanding from where they are basing these views will help me share the gospel in a way that will be more empathetic. Col 4:5-6 NKJV calls us to, "Walk in wisdom toward those [who are] outside, redeeming the time.  [Let] your speech always [be] with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." 

In the same token, it is important to have these dialogues because people in the world need to hear how we, as Christians, view the world. Homosexuals, alcoholics, and those who are in bondage to any sin need to know that we don't hate them and that they too can be redeemed by Christ's blood. In order for us to be heard, we need to be able to show grace and listen to what others have to say. 

Can Brighten Another Person's Day

There are some people who go through life and live the same boring routine each day. Get up, eat, get dressed, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed and repeat. Sociologist Keo Stark in her Ted Talk video, Why You Should Talk To Strangers, comments, "When you talk to strangers, you are making beautiful interruptions into the expected narrative of your daily life, and theirs. You are making unexpected connections. When you don't talk to strangers, you are missing out on all of that." Studies from Keo Stark and Gillian Sandstrom (Psychology Department, University of Essex), both agree that more often than not, people genuinely enjoy a strangers company, and that their day was a little brighter after a conversation with a stranger. One reason is that people feel more comfortable to be honest and open about their inner selves than they do with their friends and family. They often feel more understood by strangers. This is easy to see being that our love for family and friends can be misinterpreted as prejudice and judgmental because we passionately care about those whom we love and are close to. When we talk to strangers, we are devoid of those emotional bonds. It's almost freeing to be who we are around them. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

An irrational fear of strangers is the perfect recipe for social awkwardness and anxiety. Being comfortable around strangers makes you calmer and an overall better person. It's only weird if you make it weird. Act naturally, enjoy the time and start a paradigm shift in the right direction.

So, if you have anxiety about talking to strangers or want to share your faith but can't seem to get into a conversation, this blog roll is for you. In the next few posts I will show you several ways how I approach strangers for conversation, how to start conversations and keep them going. I believe if I could help you with this important step, other larger steps will seem easy. Practice may not make you perfect, but it will feel a whole lot easier doing it.