NaNoWriMo 2019

NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month where armature, professional, and hobbyist writers from all over the world attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. Since I was in High School, writing a book has always been on my bucket list. I wanted a career as a writer and danced between writing and going into electronics. At the time, electronics engineering was more of a logical choice, but writing was always on the back of my mind. Since leaving one crappy job for another "crappy" job, I thought I made the wrong choice many years ago.

Getting back into writing has been really good for me, both physically and mentally. It allows me to free up my mind and become less stressed. Between working with Optavia as a weight loss coach, and writing, I have lost about 50 pounds, and have never been this stress free in my life. Though I am not making the money I used to when I was working as a Field Service Engineer, I am not worried about it. The sum of a man's life is not based on riches. I am a rich man because I am a Christian child of God, I have a great understanding wife, and good health with my wife never seeing me this thin.

So you're probably wondering what my book is about. Well, I am calling it Parallel Lines, a memoir of my first year and a half as a newly married new Christian. When I got married my wife and I were not Christians. The Pastor who we wanted to marry us said that he couldn't because after taking a personality test, our graphs never intersected on anything. It was if we were two parallel lines going in opposite directions. So, when the Lord found me, and I became a believer, that pretty much sealed the coffin of my marriage. But through the things God led me through, and using my new Pastor, his wife, and Christian friends, we were able to come to the other side beat up, but alive. I am writing this memoir to give hope to believers married to unbelievers and maybe some of the good guidance I received along the way.

So this is the reason why you haven't seen me in a while. I'll try to post some more things, but in the meantime pray that I can see the other side and this work of art published. Also I will be writing another article for the Gideon's International Magazine, which is exciting.

Sharing Christ Within Your Personality Style

I recently took this personality test to find out what my personality type is according to the Myers-Briggs - an introspective self-report questionnaire with the purpose of indicating differing psychological preferences in how people perceive the world around them and make decisions. It classified me as an INTJ-T, which is:

• 78% Introverted
• 59% Intuitive
• 64% Thinking
• 51% Judging
• 75% Turbulent

This put me in a category of only 2% of the population with the likes of C.S. Lewis, Dwight Eisenhower, and Thomas Jefferson just to name a few. Pretty good company I would say.  Here are some of the unique characteristics of being an introvert:

Introverts Reach Inward To Gain Energy.

Introverts gain strength and build up energy during their downtimes in quiet environments. They like social gatherings, but with the least amount of people as possible. We like people, but not too many. 

Introverts Enjoy Quiet Environments

Put an introvert in a noisy environment, and watch their energy drain quickly. When the action in at the climax, they start to yawn and get tired. If they are driving and need to concentrate on directions, they always turn down the radio. 

Introverts Think Alone

Introverts can work with people, but when it comes to sorting their thoughts, they need time alone. They are usually good listeners, and are deep thinkers. 

Introverts Don't Like Shallow Relationships

Introverts prefer having a few close friendships rather than a multitude of acquaintances. They really care about what people think, and how they feel. Introverts want solid relationships and to thrive in one-on-one conversation. 

Introverts Prefer to Communicate in Writing. 

Introverts prefer to communicate in writing because they care about what is being said. They want to be able to look at it from different points of view, and analyze what is written. Since they are deep thinkers, they may write a few drafts of an email before sending it out. They prefer to write instead of talk face-to-face. 

They Tend to Focus On One Thing At a Time

Multitasking is difficult for an introvert and get overwhelmed very quickly, especially under too much stimulation. Introverts need to focus on one thing at a time in bite-sized pieces. Too many tasks can lead to procrastination and needing to recharge by playing video games, reading, or working on something like a puzzle or coloring. 

Even though I am very introverted, and this list describes me to a T, it doesn't excuse me from evangelism. I just do it differently than those who are extroverted. It's not that I have to do it a certain way, but it's the way that is most comfortable. Let's face it, evangelism and sharing Christ with strangers is difficult and uncomfortable no matter how it is done. But I can do it in a way that is most comfortable and fits my personality.

Introverts, like myself, care what people think. So we are very sensitive in how we approach others. I don't like just sitting on a corner and passing out tracts. I've done it, but I hate it. I would rather have a deep one-on-one conversation with someone instead of shoving a tract in their face. I am a quiet person who thinks deeply and wants to reach others who think deeply. So instead of talking to every person I see, I am more selective in the people I want to talk to. I would rather pick someone who is alone, rather than someone who is with others. Someone who is resting and not on the move to the next thing. We may reach fewer people in a witnessing night, but those interactions are much deeper and meaningful. At the end of an evangelistic outreach, it's the introverts who are going to have the cooler stories about the people they talked with.

For example, lets say I go to the Des Moines Farmers Market to share my faith. It's super busy, and thousands of people there. An uncomfortable environment. As I walk through the crowds I immediately feel the weight of the atmosphere around me, and I am getting drained. I people-watch just trying to get through it all. What can I do to make this situation better for an introvert like me? First, I find that if I pull off to the side somewhere and put my back to most of the people, I can have a comfortable conversation despite the environment that I'm in. I try to pick the quietest place in the area, even though it may be noisier than usual.  It helps me focus on just a few things in front of me, like a tree, a building, etc. Second, I choose a person who I feel would be the most comfortable to talk to. I choose someone who is sitting alone, not in a group, and someone who is sedentary and not on their way to somewhere else. Lastly, I am concerned how I may approach them. I think through some things I could say, tracts I can give them, but I have to be careful not to take too much time, and blow the opportunity. Maybe I spent time writing a tract and will present it to them at a more perfect time. When the conversation is done, if it was a good talk, it fires me up and excites me. If it's not, I may feel even more drained than when I started, thinking too much on what was said, and analyzing it to the point I am worried about what I said or didn't say.

Even though I am very introverted, it doesn't stop me from trying new things and new ways of sharing my faith. I have open-air preached at least ten times in my life to thousands of people. I have shared Christ with a groups of teens, and even had heated debates with atheists and homosexuals. It's important to at least try something new, and see what works. It's part of finding ourselves and developing out own style of witnessing. This way us deep thinkers at the end of the night or a conversation can step back and analyze how things went and what we can do to improve for next time.

But my point is that your personality style is not a blessing, nor a curse. It is yours. It is how God created you to be. He knew what He was doing when He formed your innermost parts before the foundation of the world. Use it to your advantage and hone in on those strengths for God's glory. Just get out there and share your faith while you still can. 

Some Things In The Works

For the past few weeks I have been wanting to write and blog more on Honest Answers and Iowa Seed Sowers, especially on a more consistent basis. Like anything we want to do for a career or hobby, life always seems to get in the way. I like my part time job [still not telling you what it is] that it gives me some income and allows me to be flexible so that I can pursue my dreams of being a writer and author. It's been good too that I can spend time witnessing and sharing my faith before or after I get home from work.

Why I'm Not Roman Catholic Any More

It was mentioned on Facebook a few times that I should elaborate more on why I left Roman Catholicism. Some of the quotes were:

"You should give examples as to why you left Roman Catholicism."

"What part of the Catechism contradicts the bible? Please be more specific."

 Looking back in the Honest Answers blog, those were some of my most viewed and read posts. Some of you probably wonder why I didn't pursue it more and get into even more detail as to why I left. To be honest it is a hot-button issue with some of my family. Some of my cousins took it as being divisive and attacking Roman Catholicism. In my mind I was just telling a story as to why I came out of it. But I realize now this is important. Since so many people read it, and have asked me to elaborate, I've decided to make an exhaustive list of the reasons I left, and a comparison between the Catechism and the Holy Bible. No matter what, I do maintain that Roman Catholicism is in no way, shape, or form, a denomination of the Christian faith. It is not Christian. But it is really important that I state why. So stay tuned and I hope to have a downloadable copy soon.

Book Writing

The books have been coming around, but writing has been slow. I am really good at coming up with new things to write about, but when it comes to fleshing them out...it takes a lot of time. Especially since I've never done this before. The book on conquering fear has been gaining ground and cutting through the first draft has been good. Conquering apathy book has hit some roadblocks, but with some experience I am gaining lately at my church, and praying through it, those hurdles should be minor.

As a side issue with the book writing, I am in the process of creating an author website in which I would feature my writing, and talk about points in the books. Talking with author friends of mine, they feel this would be a good time to start the process. Not only to let people know of what I am doing, but it would also help me be more accountable to my readers and writing. If this were to happen I would probably transition out of Honest Answers and push all my material to the new site.

Witnessing and Evangelism Events

Ankeny Summerfest in Ankeny, IA has started today so I will be out there after work to share the gospel. I do plan on being off Saturday and Sunday to make the most of my time there. Last weekend at the Des Moines Farmers Market, a friend from church went with me to pray as I shared. It was really eye-opening for her being that people who we were witnessing to prayed for us. It was a good time, and I think she feels the process isn't as painful as it may seem.

The Iowa State Fair will run from August 8 - 18, and I am looking forward to spending time at the Answers In Genesis creation booth in the Varied Industries Building during that time. The Gideon's will also be giving away bibles underneath the grandstand and I will be there as well. Last year there were many "Jehovah's Witnesses" out and about and I would like to engage more of them this year.

Talking To Strangers - Baggage Claim: Reclaiming Yourself

When I wrote the last blog post in the series, I was prepared to make that the final post in the series. As I reflected on this blog series, I asked myself - what now? What happens after a good or bad conversation.

When we get our luggage the way we want it, we are happy. We are ecstatic when things go our way, or better than expected. In the end of the day we can look back after all the walking, headaches, people, and still call it a good day.

The end of a good conversation, especially a spiritual one, despite the time and effort generated, in the end was a good idea. Things went well, and for the most part everyone is happy. Everyone comes away being a better person than when they started and the work was worth it. Maybe information was exchanged and the parties involved wanted to continue the conversation at a later date. If you promised to get information or send something to the other person, get it out A.S.A.P.. The longer you wait, easier it is that one of you has forgotten about it.

Even more amazing is when a person receives Christ, then we also have the opportunity, privilege, and duty to disciple them and watch them grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. To bring them along side you and pass the baton in the race we are running. 

But what happens when things don't go the way we planned it. Very few things make our hearts sink into our chests than to see an empty airport luggage carousel in baggage claim and our bag(s) not on it. It's the same feeling when the spiritual conversation didn't go as planned. Maybe the other person got mad, or even hostile towards you. Maybe things were said and done to make you cringe, or worse take the wind out of your sails. Your body tenses up and you think to yourself, "It's going to be a long time for me to do that again." Don't worry, we all go through that in one form or another. But what can we do about it.

Sometimes we need to take some time and catch our breath after we have a bad conversation. Even if we are passing out tracts and have a stack in hand, you may just need to take a few minutes and regroup. Take a few deep breaths and reassess the situation. I had many moments when I just needed a quiet space to pray and refocus after bad witnessing encounters. It drains your energy and you feel depleted emotionally and spiritually.

Through the years I've had some really emotional times when I've been sharing my faith. I have had people turn their backs on me; some completely walking away. I've had people get really mad at me for the stance I took and the beliefs I hold. I've even shed tears when I see sin in it's true form. One of the reasons I don't go to gay pride parades to share Jesus is because it's too emotional for me. I see where the world is going, and I just find the nearest alley, weep, and pray. It may seem cliche, but the world really rejects Jesus and not us. Even He had to take time away from the crowds. He was 100% God, but also 100% human. Jesus shared the truth with the rich, young ruler. Despite him walking away, Jesus still loved him. (Mark 10:21-22) That had to cut the Lord. But even through personally witnessing His miracles, His teachings and His love, people still rejected Him. The Pharisees, Sadducees and Scribes rejected Him. Pontus Pilate rejected Him. (John 18:37, 38) If they rejected the Master, what do you think they would do with the servants? (Matthew 10:25)

You may think I look at the glass half empty. I do. Because if I set my expectations really low, they only can get better. Weird...maybe? But I hardly get disappointed. 

But in all seriousness, after a hard conversation, take some time for you. Go somewhere and pray. Get a cookie. Do something for yourself. No harm in that. But most importantly, keep going. Don't stop. Don't let these minor setbacks keep you from sharing your faith. You are a child of the King. Own it. 

Talking To Strangers - Landing

Like I said in the beginning of this series is that the takeoff and landing are the hardest parts of the conversation.

When leaving a spiritual conversation, it is important to leave the person with something to think about. Tracts are not only great for opening up a spiritual conversation but also ending one. It gives the person who is reading it to remind them of things that were mentioned in the talk. It can also spark interest into a different topic as well. You can leave a wide variety of things with the person you are talking to. It can be a saying that is easy to remember; or something tangible like a tract, gospel of John or a bible.

Be sure to leave your contact info on the gift you are giving away. This will help the person get in touch with you if he or she has any added questions they would like to ask. If they do have questions that you cannot answer at the time of your departure, simply write it down and get back with them at the very latest two days later. I personally try to get back with people within 24 hours. This gives you ample time to find the answer, and them time hasn't gone by to forget the question. When it comes to the info, I'm not a fan of using my last name, even when it comes to an email. Today people can look you up and where you live regardless of what information you gave them. I personally don't like to give my phone number unless I get their number as well so I can put it in my phone. Because chances are that if a phone number comes up that I do not recognize, I will not answer it. When I am on the street, I always give my email address honest_answers@msn.com. It doesn't have my name at all, but easy enough to remember if it is accidentally lost. I love having a type of business card on me with my first name, email, and a design, saying, or verses to go along with it. There are so many printing companies to choose from when picking out the right card for you. Some of whom I have used are Vista Print, MOO and 48 Hour Print.

When leaving a conversation be sure to look the person in the eye and offer a nice, firm handshake. If the conversation didn't go as well simply apologize if you seemed rude or insensitive and exit gracefully. If you need to go, and time is of the essence, to give yourself an exit just say, "I hate to cut this short, but I am going to be needing to go in 10 minutes. I can answer just one more question. But if you have any more, here is my card." This way when you say goodbye, the other person won't take it as being abrupt. He or she already knew you had to go, and when that would be.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but there will be many opportunities, and strangers, to strike up conversations with. Just simply be friendly and open to having one. Better to spend the day with someone new and interesting, than to claw through Facebook all day.

Talking To Strangers - Switching To The Spiritual

Now that you have some tools to get the conversation started and moving, it is now time to switch the topic of conversation to a more spiritual one. The purpose of this series is to get people motivated enough to talk to strangers so that we can now begin to share the gospel with them. Because like I've always said, your largest sphere of influence will always be people you don't know. Whether the waitress at the diner, a tow truck driver, person close to you at the coffee shop or someone you met at a gathering; all are strangers to you.

This is the most difficult part of the conversation. It takes great courage and trust in the Lord to transition from the natural to the spiritual. It also takes some patience because once you open up the topic, you can pretty much tell where the other person stands when it comes to the things of God.

Climbing The Ladder

The way I usually get into a spiritual conversation is by a tactic I call, "climbing the ladder". As you are in the conversation it is typical to have questions asked and answered. For each question that is asked you are moving up the proverbial ladder one rung at a time. When you find that one rung in which you can transition to the spiritual, just highlight what was asked, and then use it to make the transition. That question is the top of the ladder. Here is a sample scenario:

You:         "This is some band. They're really good, huh?"
Stranger:  "Yeah, I've followed them for a while. They used to play where I'm from."
You:         "Where's that?"
Stranger:  "New Brunswick, NJ."
You:         "Wow, that's a long way? What brought you all the way out here?"
Stranger:  "School. I'm a Biology Major with a minor in Chemistry at ISU."
You:         "Wow, that's gotta be tough. It's so amazing how the human body works. How it repairs itself, how the heart is a pump that never needs to be primed, cleaned or lubricated.  Its so fascinating."
Stranger:  "Evolution is fascinating." [The rung you hold on to]

[Your possible transition questions] 

"I'm just curious...how did you come to that conclusion?"
"Evolution? How so..."
"What do you mean by 'evolution'?"
"How do you know that?"
"Can you tell me more about that; evolution?"
"Have you always felt this way? If not, what changed your mind?"

By climbing the ladder you are not asking loaded questions to the person you are talking to, but allowing them to naturally step into the conversation on their own. It's a lot like an animal stepping into a snare. They get their foot stuck and now hard to get out of; they are the ones that brought the topic up, not you.

Gospel Tracts

When time is of the essence, gospel tracts can be used to break the ice into a spiritual conversation relatively quick. In this fast-paced world we live in, people are coming and going, not settling down, and if they do, they are on their phone checking email or Facebook. Gospel tracts don't mess around. They get to the point and have the person thinking something spiritual in seconds.

My favorite ice-breaker is the Washington Million Dollar Bill and the Franklin Million Dollar Bill; both by Tract Planet. What I like about all the tracts from Tract Planet, more than Living Waters, is that each one has a QR code on the back that takes the person to a YouTube video that shares the entire gospel. So in the event that the person takes it home and forgets the details of the conversation, they can be quickly and gently reminded on their own time. This way at the end of the conversation you can point out the code and the website so they can reference it later.

Approaching people on the street with the million dollar bill is very easy. I just take it in my hand, look them in the eye and say, "Did you get one of these? It's a million-dollar bill with the million-dollar question on the back. 'If you were to die to day and stand before God, why should He allow you into heaven'?" It propels you right into a spiritual conversation in the speed of thought. You can also ask other intro questions:

"Are you good enough to go to heaven?"

"Are you ready to meet your creator?" [Funny story is that someone called the cops on me once thinking I meant NOW, and I was going to help them out. That was a 20 minute yuk-yuk with the police]. 

"If you were to die today and stand before God, would you be ready?"

There are many ways you can phrase this introduction question that would be not only intriguing, but alarming.

The cool thing about gospel tracts also is that they are a great closer, when the conversation is over. It leaves the person with a gift, and something tangible they can quickly reference. For an exhaustive list of reasons and ways to use gospel tracts CLICK HERE on another website I co-author with my friend Paul.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me by email. I would love to answer any of them, and help you to share your faith easier. 

Talking To Strangers - Cruising Altitude

As I stated in the last article, the beginning and ending of a conversation are much like takeoff and landings in an airplane; the most difficult moments. We want to talk to someone and what happens? We get very nervous, start to sweat, get tongue-tied and before we know it we've chickened out again. But let's say we actually start a conversation; we've used the A.R.E. method, but things seem to slip. What do we do when we are starting to lose things to talk about or need a springboard from which to keep the conversation going. Here is something I use - the FORM method.

No matter what conversation I am in, if I use this tactic I can easily ask one of the FORM questions and think about what I will say next. This gives me ample time to get my thoughts, and nerves, together and get back on track with the dialogue. FORM is an easy-to-remember acronym of the basic categories of questions you will ask: Family, Occupation, Recreation and/or Motivation.

Family - Who Are You With?

Just about every person on the planet has family somewhere. At one point we all had a mother and a father; we had to been born from someone. Even Jesus, the Son of God, had to come in human form through Mary. Even though Joseph was not related to Him, the bible speaks of Jesus' lineage through Josephs - the line of David (Matthew 1:1). 

While men are usually asked, "What do you do"; women are usually asked, "Who are you with?" This is meant to ask about her husband or children. Using family as a springboard can spark many questions in relation to: family members, vacations, funny stories, things everyone is doing, school, etc. Just thinking about the funny moments in my family and the things I have done as a youth makes me smile; prompts me to be talkative.

Occupation - What Do You Do?

As I stated in the previous section, men are usually asked, "What do you do?" Men are...well, mostly...the breadwinners. Their status in the world comes from their job or position. This can spark a great deal of conversation, and you can get a rough sketch of the person you are talking with. 

But let's say that you are talking with a person who has lost their job and not employed at the moment. Have no fear, there are many reasons for that. It's best to read body language and facial cues to see if this is a sore subject, or one that strikes up a lengthy dialogue. If it is, just politely back away from the question. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I can see that this might be a sensitive topic for you...?" Then quickly move on to another FORM category. Personally, occupation has always been a sore topic for me. At the moment I have a part time job traveling locally doing very unpleasant things for people needing my services [nope, not gonna tell you what I do. At least not here.] But as I work I spend a majority of  my time praying for each house I go to, the nation, other countries; not to mention listening to podcasts, etc. Plus I get to minister to my boss who is a self-proclaimed left-wing Atheist. Even though I usually don't like telling people what I do, I will follow up with what it allows me to accomplish for God's kingdom. And that is what I love to talk about. 

Recreation - What Do You Like?

So maybe talking about family or your job isn't your thing; which usually the questions gets turned onto us. You may want to consider talking about what you do like. 

Everybody likes something. Whether its a hobby, what people read, a sports team or playing sports...there is always something to talk about in this category. The great thing about this category is that you will probably get more interesting answers than the other categories. Most of the time I'd rather start here. 

You can tell alot about the free time of individuals and what they do. I had a very lengthy conversation with my wife's Uncle who makes handmade pens out of wood in his shop. I was so intrigued by his hobby that I just had to know more about it. This then led to more fascinating dialogue about politics and church; you know, the two topics people normally avoid. To see his eyes light up when I genuinely wanted to know more about his hobby, was worth every minute to me. It genuinely shows that I care about the small details about the person themselves. 

Motivation - What Drives You?

Even though this is probably the most difficult category to draw questions from, it is not impossible. People are motivated by different things. Sometimes bad, but sometimes good. To use this question, you need look at the person and think to yourself, "Has he or she achieved something in their life to be motivated towards?" Maybe you notice the person you are talking to is really fit. You can ask something like, "I noticed that you are really fit. I can't seem to be motivated in that area. How do you do it?" When you put it together like that you not only build up the person's ego a little and their hard work shows, but also touch their intellectual side and want to learn from them as well. 

Look at a person and ponder if he or she has excelled in a certain area. Maybe they have a degree, wrote a book or even play a sport that seems difficult. Whatever it is that they accomplished, ask them how they did it. You will be amazed at the answers you get. 

So, the next time you get into a conversation with someone and find yourself in an uncomfortable pause, use the FORM method of keeping the conversation going. It will be very helpful as you engage strangers in all situations. 

Talking To Strangers - Takeoff...The A.R.E. Method

Starting and ending the conversation is much like taking off and landing a plane. They are both the hardest, most nerve-racking times in flying. For most of us its as scary as flying in and out of Toncontin International Airport in Tegucigalpa, Honduras like I have. This airport is one of the most dangerous and deadly, narrowly clipping the mountainside. It's so dangerous that it takes special pilots and training to be able to do it.  It's so scary that when our short-term-missions team arrived and our wheels touched the tarmac, people in the cabin start cheering and praising God, thanking Him for sparing their lives.

One of the main reasons people don't talk to strangers is that they don't know how to start the conversation and keep it going. Over the years I have taken some ideas about talking to strangers from different people and incorporated them into my everyday life. The A.R.E. method is just one of the many tools I remember when situations come up.

The A.R.E. Method

Throughout the years there have been many different techniques on how to start a conversation with a stranger. The A.R.E. Method of starting a conversation was a simplified view of some of the most notable efforts. Created by communications expert, Carol Flemming, involves three main aspects. Anchor, Reveal and Encourage. 

Anchor

In order to start a conversation, you and the other person need a connection between the two of you. This is an observation of a mutual shared reality with the other person. When you want to talk to someone in your vicinity, look for something you are both seeing or experiencing. Possibilities are:

• A band that is playing close by. 
• You both are Jurors on the same trial. 
• A strange looking dog that walked by. 
• A book they are reading. Maybe you actually read the same book. 

If you are having difficulty trying to come up with something in the moment, use your senses and ask yourself:

"What am I seeing right now?"

"What am I hearing at this moment?"

"What do I smell in the air? Food, campfire, the summer night air?" 

No doubt within seconds you will come up with at least five things to strike up a conversation with. 

Reveal

Next, reveal something about yourself that is related to your anchor. By opening up a little more, you extend to the other person a few more threads of connection and trust. This also provides them information in which to respond.

"Oh you took ballet in college. Des Moines is a very eclectic city. I love going to the opera here."

"You must try this restaurant in the city called, Bubba's. It's my favorite."

"I took painting in college. I wasn't very good, but the class was interesting."

The reveal portion is more for keeping a conversation going rather than starting one. Occasionally just commenting on your surroundings and revealing something about yourself is a great way to start a conversation. If you are in a pet store and someone stands next to you, you can say, "Isn't he cute? I had a cat like that once. His name was Stinky." You never want to start a conversation by saying, "Can I ask you a question?" Most people will say, "no" and walk away. If they say anything at all. 

Encourage

A sure-fire way to make a person feel good and smile is to notice them. People love to be noticed, especially those who feel that they are insignificant in the world. Encouraging people and those around us is a huge part of loving our neighbor as ourselves. We as humans love when people encourage us. It not only makes us feel good about ourselves, but also reinforces different things about us. This can be displayed as several parts. 

Complementing

One of the best ways to ask a question is to tie a complement and a question together. Complementing others is not just a way to get into a conversation, but it helps us not to focus on ourselves. It gives us the freedom to genuinely see others without our selfishness getting in the way. When using this technique it is best to stick with three types. 

1. Style, whether it be jewelry, an article of clothing or even a tattoo. People wear things to be seen and noticed. Complementing them on their style reinforces their decision-making and really makes people feel good. 
• "That is a super-cute blouse and you wear it well. Did you pick that out yourself of was it a gift?" 
• "I love that tie. Looks very nice on you. Where did you get it?"
• "That is an awesome tattoo. So detailed and classy. Did you design it yourself?"
2. Accomplishment. Congratulating a person on an accomplishment reinforces their ego a little, and helps them to be noticed especially when those around them don't seem to care. 
• "Congratulations on the promotion. What do you think was the thing that put you over the top?"
• "Wow, you look fantastic. What is your secret to staying fit?"
• "You have a B.A. in Engineering? That must have been tough. How long did it take you to graduate?"
3. Good behavior. Letting a person know they made the right decision is an important element to complementing and encouragement. Sometimes when things happen rather quickly, it's good to know that you did the best you could and to hear that from others. 
• "It was really cool how you handled that [situation]. How did you stay so calm?"
• "I love how you disciplined your son. How do you do it and encourage him at the same time like that?"
• "You're so patient especially when he was rude to you. What is your secret?"

Lend a Helping Hand

Encouraging others also comes in the form of lending a helping hand when needed. When using this form of encouragement, it is really important to be aware of what people are doing. You may need to spend some time people watching and discerning what is needed. Some of my best conversations come from giving aid to those around me. Here are some ways I like to help others to get my foot in the door of a conversation:

1. Struggling Selfies. Sometimes when I am at an attraction with lots of people, there are those who are struggling to take selfies, especially with couples or groups. I like to offer my services to take the photo for them. Most of the time people are handing me all their phones and glad for me to take them. Other times people are reluctant, in which I use humor and say, "I think you can catch me. I'm really big, and really slow." If they still say no, I just wish them a good day and move on without hurt feelings. I also like to use humor in the shot. After I take the pictures needed, I will move closer and closer to someone who is smiling to the point where it is obvious I can't make the shot. After the pictures are done I like to ask them where they are from or if they have any questions about the area like good restaurants or entertainment nearby. The best part is that if someone else who is struggling and sees your helpfulness, they will be happy to fork over their phones as well. 
2. Information Booth. When I am in the downtown area, or at an event, I notice people sometimes look lost, or if they are in a group trying to figure out were to go to eat, see, or do. I then gently say to someone in the group, "Not trying to impose, but I noticed that you seem a little puzzled about the area. I'm from around here. Is there anything I can help you find." Depending on the pride level of the person you are asking, they will either say yes or no. But this is a great opportunity to then ask where they are from, what type of food they like and so on. The sky is the limit to the amount of conversation you can have. But just remember they have places to go and probably won't stick around for a lengthy conversation. 
3. Just Plain Help. I've been there numerous times to just help others in need and literally lend a hand. True story, one time I was at the Post Office and a baby slipped out of the blanket in her mother's arm and was headed for the ground. Instincts kicked in and I reached down and grabbed the child right before her head hit the concrete floor. I just so happened to be at the right place at just the right time. 

The sky is the limit when helping someone in need. The key is to be able to pick up on the needs around you and follow through with it. You have to discern quickly, and be ready to jump in at the right time. 

Since this is a spiritual blog, and the purposes of starting a conversation is to share the gospel with another person, all these methods are great ways to lead into spiritual conversations or to offer tracts or Gospels of John. Following up a great conversation with something spiritually tangible is a great way to end on a good note. Especially when it comes to lending a hand. You can end with:

"Let me give you a gift, and welcome to the neighborhood. It's a gospel of John, and I would like you to have it."

"I really enjoyed our conversation. I'd like to give you this [tract] and when you get a minute please take a look at it and consider what it says."

"I hope you find what you're looking for. By the way, here is something else to help you on your way through life....[and hand them a Gideon New Testament]. 

I hope you found this encouraging to you as you go about your day. Try to apply some of these principles as you go about your day. If you are still fearful about reaching out and talking to others, simply see a situation, and muse about it in your own mind. Think about how you would approach a person in a certain situation. Imagine having a good conversation with that person. How would you approach? What would you say? What anchors or things can you use to start the ball rolling. As you go on and meditate on these things, you will find it's not as difficult as it seems. Just think, maybe you are exactly what that other person needs today. Brighten someones day and talk with them. 

Talking To Strangers - Why Should I?

Lately people who know me and know that I like to share my faith on the streets, have been expressing to me how they can't understand how I can strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and share the gospel. I often hear, "I could never do that." or "I don't know how you do it. Isn't it hard? It seems impossible for me."  I find it ironic that in some of these conversations that in their next breath say, "Nothing is impossible with God." I tend to agree, nothing is impossible with God.

Listen, I didn't just wake up one day and just start talking with strangers. With anything, if you want to get better at something, or master a skill, it takes a great deal of patience, time, and practice. You have to ask yourself, "How bad do I want it?" If you have any reservations about the idea, you won't put in the effort, and it will fizzle out. By nature I am extremely introverted. But introverted doesn't mean shy or isolated. It means that I take my conversations with people very seriously. It means that I l lose energy with the more people that surround me, and I gain energy being alone. But one thing is for sure, it does not excuse me from talking to people I don't know. You need to be honest with yourself. Every person you are friends with today, was a stranger at one time. 

Why Should I Care About Talking To Strangers? 

Ask yourself why you want to talk to strangers. For me, I wanted to be able to share the gospel with them. There are way more people I don't know than those that I do know. Since I wanted to share my faith with the largest chunk of the pie graph of the people in my life, I needed to start talking with them, and not just to them. There are several reasons to start conversations with strangers. 

It's Practice For The People Who Really Matter To Us.

All people matter. I view every conversation I have with a complete stranger as an opportunity to practice and enhance my speaking skills for the people who matter the most to me. These are the people who are closest to me in my sphere of influence, who I will see on a daily or weekly basis. No one who plays football goes on the field on the first day and plays a team for a real game that will count towards their record. It takes a great deal of learning, training, and practice before challenging a team. Those conversations are game day, with uniforms and pads on. In order to have those conversations, I need to first practice. But you don't practice with the people you are going to play against. When you play the big game, you want to give your very best. Talking to strangers allows us to make mistakes and say the wrong thing without being judged for it. Most strangers actually worry more about themselves looking like fools, than you looking like a fool. Most of the time you will brighten the day the person you talk with. 

Strangers Can Give You a New Outlook On Life and Issues. 

I think it is very important and healthy to look at something from a different perspective. On issues regarding homosexuality, abortion, or even women in leadership, my views are founded on the bible, and will not change. But in order to talk about these topics, I need to at least try to understand the opinions of the other side. We likely may not agree, but understanding from where they are basing these views will help me share the gospel in a way that will be more empathetic. Col 4:5-6 NKJV calls us to, "Walk in wisdom toward those [who are] outside, redeeming the time.  [Let] your speech always [be] with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." 

In the same token, it is important to have these dialogues because people in the world need to hear how we, as Christians, view the world. Homosexuals, alcoholics, and those who are in bondage to any sin need to know that we don't hate them and that they too can be redeemed by Christ's blood. In order for us to be heard, we need to be able to show grace and listen to what others have to say. 

Can Brighten Another Person's Day

There are some people who go through life and live the same boring routine each day. Get up, eat, get dressed, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed and repeat. Sociologist Keo Stark in her Ted Talk video, Why You Should Talk To Strangers, comments, "When you talk to strangers, you are making beautiful interruptions into the expected narrative of your daily life, and theirs. You are making unexpected connections. When you don't talk to strangers, you are missing out on all of that." Studies from Keo Stark and Gillian Sandstrom (Psychology Department, University of Essex), both agree that more often than not, people genuinely enjoy a strangers company, and that their day was a little brighter after a conversation with a stranger. One reason is that people feel more comfortable to be honest and open about their inner selves than they do with their friends and family. They often feel more understood by strangers. This is easy to see being that our love for family and friends can be misinterpreted as prejudice and judgmental because we passionately care about those whom we love and are close to. When we talk to strangers, we are devoid of those emotional bonds. It's almost freeing to be who we are around them. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

An irrational fear of strangers is the perfect recipe for social awkwardness and anxiety. Being comfortable around strangers makes you calmer and an overall better person. It's only weird if you make it weird. Act naturally, enjoy the time and start a paradigm shift in the right direction.

So, if you have anxiety about talking to strangers or want to share your faith but can't seem to get into a conversation, this blog roll is for you. In the next few posts I will show you several ways how I approach strangers for conversation, how to start conversations and keep them going. I believe if I could help you with this important step, other larger steps will seem easy. Practice may not make you perfect, but it will feel a whole lot easier doing it. 

What's Love Got To Do With It? The Problem.

Something has been on my mind for a long time. It's really been bugging me, and for obvious reasons I cannot seem to get past it.  My wife knows there is a problem. My friends see there is a problem. Even my family in NJ has noticed a problem. I have never been an excited person before, and not very outgoing, but this goes much deeper than that. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

After the death of my sister Jenni, in 2007, I haven't been able to cry. I've said in the past that I have shed all my tears that I will ever have left on her. I've tried to cry. I've tried to shed tears multiple times, for many different reasons and occasions. Some of those reasons were completely valid, and rightfully important to show compassion and sympathy for others, especially for people close to me. When it really bothers me is when my wife is hurting, seriously in pain emotionally, and everything in me seems cold, shallow, and disconnected like a robot devoid of emotion and feeling. I often wonder what is wrong with me, and what I have done to get this way; especially when my wife looks at me and says, "I want my husband back," but I feel nothing. 

The last time I visited NJ, I went out to eat with my best man when I got married. We sat down at the bar, and after ordering our food he asked me, "Can I ask you something? What makes you happy? What do you enjoy doing?" After five minutes of silence and musing over the thought he said, "That's a problem. I can think of 50 things off the top of my head. What happened to you?" Honestly I don't know. Now, I enjoy things. I enjoy the opera, I enjoy taking a walk in the woods and fried chicken and waffles. Even though fried chicken and waffles is as close to nirvana as a person can get, that blissful type of happy, is missing.

Ephesians 4:19 talks about how the Gentiles are past feeling, among other things. This verse is the only verse where this word is located in the entire bible. It is where we get our modern word, apathy. Strong's Concordance G524 which means, "to cease to feel pain or grief. To become callous, insensible to pain, apathetic." From this verse and the previous verses, we can see that the Gentiles walked in the futility of their mind, their understanding darkened, being ignorant, and alienated from the life of God because of the blindness of their heart. Can you see why I am disturbed about this? This is a problem that must be addressed, and solutions that need to be found.

So I started to think about where else I had seen this problem elsewhere in the New Testament. Then it hit me, the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2:1-7, which is labeled, "The Loveless Church." Both letters - Ephesians and Revelation 2:1-7, were letters written to the church of Ephesus. The Ephesian church was surrounded by pagan idolatry and false teaching. They Jesus knows what they have been doing, and commends them in Revelation that they cannot bear those who are evil, tests false teachers, persevered in patience and have not grown weary. They hated the same evil Jesus hates. But you can imagine, surrounded by all the wickedness of the city, that their hatred for false teaching overpowered their love. They didn't lose what they were fighting for, but for Whom. They labored for Christ's name sake (Revelation 2:3), but were they winning souls, or winning arguments?

I have a heart for people trapped and conned into false teaching. My heart breaks for Mormons (LDS), Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics, and the endless list of false teaching. I used to be trapped in Catholicism, and have been where they are. It angers me more than anything to see people suffer through cults, to be trapped in false doctrines, led away by broods of vipers. I want nothing more than to give them a one liner or a verse that they would wake up and turn away from the lies. To shoot them with the "silver bullet" as it will, and kill the demons within them. But the thing with the silver bullet is that it ultimately kills the person for whom is tortured, and makes them the innocent victim. It does Christ, and them, no good when they leave their false prophets, but don't run to Christ for fear of turning to another one.

As I witness and share Christ with this lost and dying world, I need His heart. I need to do it for Him. I need to be so filled with the love of God, that it is reflected onto this world I live in. My LORD has this burden too, and feels infinitely more grief for those who reject Him for man-made doctrines and lies. Jesus calls us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:14) and not let our frustrations with false teaching overpower the love of Christ within us. I hope that I have the solution to this problem shortly to share with you, and hopefully I will be able to cry again.

2018 Year In Review

2018 was by far the most interesting and fulfilling year I have had in a long time. What started out in complete and total surrender to the LORD, giving over my job to seek Him full-time, has been a wild ride. Evan though every day is an adventure, and unknown in what His plans are for me, I am continuing to live by faith in what He has for me each day.

Mid January I gave up my job with a well known cash register company. I was tired of putting God last in my life, and I heeded His call to a life of ministry. Two of my goals this year was to love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength; to love my neighbor as myself. Though I don't know if it is truly possible to do that, I gave it my focus.  I was tired of always putting God behind my job, career, and other men who frankly couldn't care less about me, or the LORD. So I set out to do just that. I wouldn't turn down any ministry opportunities, and if the LORD wanted me to do it, He would see it through. So in great faith I set out to do this. What I saw looking back was a total miracle and a work of God that couldn't be possible if I had stayed in my career. Here is a list of what got done:

Ministry

1. St. Patrick's Day Parade Evangelism Outreach, Des Moines, IA
2. Pella, IA Tulip Time Evangelism Outreach
3. Manti, UT Mormon Miracle Pageant Evangelism Outreach. 
4. Gideon's International Des Moines, IA Bible Blitz and Evangelism Outreach. 
5. Working Gideon's Booth at the Iowa State Fair giving away bibles and doing evangelism. 
6. Answers In Genesis Evangelism Training. 
7. Evantell Evangelism Training in all certifications. 
8. Working Answers In Genesis booth at the Iowa State Fair. 
9. Helped Tony (mentor) while in hospital after he broke his hip. 
10. Took over Tony's inductive bible study while in hospital and rehab. 
11. Helped Tony while in hospital, rehab, and after return to his home. 
12. Traveled to Arizona to help mother-in-law in March with her home, remodeling, and repairing things around house. 
13. Helped Mother-in-law getting around after surgery in early December. 
14. Attended the Harvest Pastor and Leadership Conference in Chicago, IL
15. Published article called, Love In Action, in the Gideon Magazine. 

Other Things Accomplished

1. Fixed leak in kitchen ceiling. 
2. Repaired kitchen wall and cabinets. 
3. Painted kitchen.
4. Dad visited IA
5. Tom, a friend, visited IA twice. 
6. Visited wife's family in Indianapolis, IN area for Uncle's 80th birthday. 
7. Visited my family in NJ for 3 weeks. 
8. Downsizing and selling Ebay. 
9. Fixed and painted shed in back yard. 
10. Read 34 books. 
11. Continued focused work on writing my books on evangelism. 

Looking back, I am pretty encouraged and confident that I have achieved my goal of loving God, and loving my neighbor. All these things could not have been done if I had stayed at my job. My hope for 2019 is that I can continue to do this, with an increased focus on daily and event evangelism; spending more time with my family, and renewed love and commitment to my wife.

Goals For 2019

1. Manti Mormon Miracle Pageant Outreach. This will be the last year for this event. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is discontinuing the event after 52 years. 
2. Many Des Moines, IA events like St. Paddy's Day Parade, Ankeny Summerfest, and art festival to do one-on-one evangelism. 
3. Visit family again for parents 50th wedding anniversary. 
4. Iowa State Fair with Answers In Genesis and Gideon's International. 
5. Painting the garage and shed when weather permits. 
6. First draft in some of my evangelism books I am writing. 

Pray that the LORD will continue to lead and guide me in what He wants me to accomplish for 2019, and that it would be even more fruitful than this past year. 

My First Published Magazine Article

While I was visiting my family in New Jersey, I had the idea to write an article for The Gideon - an international magazine for the Gideon's International members. I contacted them and we agreed that I would write an article about love in the workplace, geared toward's the Gideon organization. Part of this article was an idea I had while working for a mail opening manufacturer, as a Field Service Engineer.

When I got back to Iowa, I finished the article, sent it in, and waited for a response for editing. I didn't hear anything back, and contacted them twice. To be honest, I just thought they forgot about me, and that they chose not to publish the article.

Well, December / January issue came, and I was elated to find that they not only published the article, but they published it almost word-for-word! I am completely blown away, and have been very happy with the responses I received so far. Though this may not look like much to the average person reading this, it has been a long time goal on my bucket list to see this come to fruition.

My prayer is that I will continue to write for magazines as well as books, and that the Lord will provide the knowledge He wants me to write about. I hope I can be able to do this again.